The Gadfly

Letter to Jewish Center

2011-07-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

Enclosed is a 10 dollar check for my grandmother. She passed away April 20, 2003. Please attach me to your mailing list.

Letter to Green Earth Vegan Cuisine

2011-07-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

Hi,
I went to this restaurant a few weeks ago and ordered the spinach asparagus soup and the bruschetta with my girlfriend. We were notably upset with the taste of both dishes. Everything else about the restaurant was fine because the food was presented well, and the service was good, we just did not like the food.

Both my girlfriend and I tend to eat vegan and we wish to support vegan establishments.When we had expressed both visual and verbal displeasure to the male that took our money about the quality of our food, he did not pick up our cues.

Anyways, we would like to give this restaurant another try and come back. Would you be willing to compensate us for the cost of the bruschetta and and spinach asparagus in the form of a food credit that we can use? We would be happy to return tonight, or this week.

Thank you for your understanding,

Letter to Foundation Director at University

2011-07-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Dear

I really enjoyed meeting you. I am excited about the prospect of establishing a scholarship. With the tuition increase and the stipulation that 1/3 of tuition be redistributed to needy students, I feel like the horse "Boxer" from Animal Farm and thus it is a personal decision I'm grappling with to stay at the University.

Regardless, if I can find a job using my skillset in sociology, I would gladly set up a 10,000 dollar scholarship in my name as a return on the State University Grant I was awarded this year and if funds become available this year for another State University grant, I would be willing to create a 25,000 dollar scholarship in my family's name. It is the right thing to do.

Letter to Costco

2011-07-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

To Whom It May Concern,
I've noticed a certain amount of Costco stores in California are losing the Hebrew Natioanl hot dog brand and replacing them with Kirkland Brand hot dogs. I am looking to learn more information about this switch.

My first impression was rising prices of hot dogs meant that a switch was in line to go to a less expensive affordable brand for consumers. But then I realized another, albeit, less likely possibility would be a kosher certification is nearly irrelevant considering all the dairy and pork being prepared in the food prep area.

It seems as if the primary market of hot dogs at Costco is for people who don't care where their food comes from or how it is materialized. These people seem to be concerned with quantity over quality.

Nevertheless, I miss kosher hot dogs!

Letter to Appeal Unemployment Decision

2011-07-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Enclosed is a copy of a lette that was sent to me by ___--schools which led me to believe I was elgible for unemployment benefits.

II was initially denied a claim because I work within a school district in accordance with Unemployment Insurance Code Section 1253.3. The claim denial was based on my reasonable assurance to work in _____School District the following year.

Because I cannot fully pay my bills substitute teaching, I do not consider myself primarily a substitute teacher. These three positions fully supplement each other in order so I can barely make rent. My thought process is because if one jobs falters, then I have something to fall back on. To earn a living, I must also have other sources of income. these include acting and umpiring baseball as an independent contractor.

I enjoy substitute teaching and working within the community immensely, however also need to set my sights on a job that pays a wage above the poverty level. I would like to receive benefits for the summer. Thank you for your understanding on this matter.

Letter to Girlfriend's Mom

2011-07-14T23:56:00.000-07:00

Dear ____-
Thank you for bringing back such an authentic piece of Irish Culture. I love the Irish Derby and will wear it much. Thank you for thinking of me on your trip to Ireland. Glad you are home safe!

Letter to Gas Company

2011-07-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

"Dear Gas Company,

I apologize. I have been hit on the head recently and am not entirely there. Or here.

This letter is requesting information to confirm that in fact I received a legitimate letter from The Southern California Gas Company.

I have had email for ten years and my email address gets all over. Fortunately I have a spam blocker, and haven’t responded to a phishing attack in years.

I am uncertain though if this is a legitimate letter. My understanding is criminals can be identified by their poor construction of the English language.

The first sentence in the letter dated May 16, 2011 sent to my address states, “Welcome to Southern California Gas Company”. I am utterly perplexed at the syntax of this letter. Why doesn’t this letter use the definite article, “the”. I imagine this would have created an unaesthetic look reading, “Welcome to the Southern California Gas Company”. Moreover, at the end of the letter, the endline states, “Your energy service provider” -13” My question pertains to is what energy and additional services can be provided before I set up an account. Why the 13? I think this may be a tell tale sign of criminal activity.

Since there is no address listed on this letter, and only a phone number, I am concerned with phishing attempts being made on my good name and credit.

I am writing this address to confirm that indeed this is a legitimate utility. If so, I am happy to establish an account, however do not want to become the victim of identity theft once again.

Thank you,
Resident "

Letter to Energizer

2011-07-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

To Whom It May Concern,

When I was a child I used to read 50 ways a person could save the Earth. The way I saw the world, there were the kids whose parents could afford Nintendo’s and Segas and whose who played with the Tiger LCD games. Man those Sucked!

Anyways, I am 29 years old and finally able to use things like remote controls, flip video cameras, and personal body massagers thanks to rechargeable batteries.
I wasn’t able to do so before a throwing batteries is a terribled thinmg to do the environment adn Rayovacs were prohibitively expensive.

Now it is nice to see a durable brand marketing rechargeable batteries. My question is what in the world took so long?

Yours,

Letter to U.S Mint

2011-07-11T16:01:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I read a balance sheet that stated coins were an asset to the Federal Reserve Board, and paper currency was a liability. I am no economist, and the people that I know who do accounting ignored my request for information on the matter. My best guess is they did not have a comprehensive understanding.

I have purchased a good share of coins from the United States Mint, however do so anchored in the information that it may be a prudent investment, not for my generation, but for my grandchildren in 7 generations.

It seems like this is a loaded question full of fractional reserve policy and metal prices. Still though, I believe I can grasp this information if someone could point me in the right direction.

Yours Sincerely,

Letter to Dodger Stadium

2011-07-09T23:28:00.001-07:00

This is a letter I wrote to Dodger Stadium.

"Dear Mr. Hunter,

I love baseball. I umpire baseball. I’ve been to professional umpire school, major league umpire camp, played to the collegiate level, attended Spring Training every year since 2003, have more books on baseball than anybody I know, collect paintings, signed baseballs and have a comprehensive understanding of the game including the ability to rattle off nearly all the World Series winners for any particular year. My current research as a sociologist is on managerial ejections.

On July 7th, 2011, I had mistakenly went to the ball park with my girlfriend because I had mistaken these tickets for July 8th’s game. I found out July 8th’s game time was changed by ESPN to 1 10 pm. Unfortunately, I had made plans to attend the Tim Burton art exhibit at the Los Angeles Museum of Art in exchange for taking my girlfriend to baseball game. She isn’t into baseball as much as me.. If I was aware of the time change in advance I wouldn’t be getting the short end of the stick. I would rather go to a baseball game any day of the year. In fact, I traded my girlfriend’s attendance for the baseball game to my attendance at the art museum.

However, I received these tickets as a nice gift for umpiring baseball from a man who appreciated my professional style in his son’s high school summer game. I had made arrangements to attend the game which meant getting a baby sitter and paying for parking. To me this was such a treat, because I just moved back from San Diego to Los Angeles after 7 years and really wanted to see a Dodger game.

I was informed by people at the top deck ticket stand, the man who operated the smoking gate, Brett Carlyle, and Judy near lot D to speak with the people in the ticketing booth in Lot D.

With each person I explained my issue with they said that the policy would not allow them to change the tickets because “the tickets had no price on them”. I get it. Each employee is trained to say this otherwise they would lose their jobs. But there needs to be someone with executive authority to make a decision to realize that the game time has been changed and this sort of information is extremely difficult to disseminate to everybody.

I am old school in the belief in doing things the right way. To make things easier, I could have easily traded my tickets for the following day’s game with one of the “I need tickets guys”. My assumption was the Dodgers would be able to take the steps to make things right.

When I had asked to speak with the ticket booth supervisor, I was appalled at his unpolished professionalism. Right off the bat, I knew he was going to regurgitate “policy” when he referred to his subordinates as pronouns (she). Moreover, as I was explaining my dilemma to him he would say things like, “I’m hearing you” while expressing no empathy. I explained to him that I could hear people speaking other languages, but what they are saying does not register cognitively and I explained that this was what Rob was saying to me as he was saying, “I’m hearing you”.

From an organizational perspective, there must be someone that understands the extenuating circumstances and the consequences of applying policy to all. While a broad policy may work for containing a lot of people, what I had asked for is an executive that could help sort things out with a win-win solution. Most upsetting about my interaction with Rob was his misleading me into telling me he was willing to make a “special exception” for me, except my tickets had no price and hence he could do nothing. From what I gathered from different Dodger employees was exchanging future tickets value for value is standard practice and he had lied to my face. In my opinion, Rob is not a polished executive with supervisory capability, but rather a glorified clerk with an exceptional ability to regurgitate information who lacks that essential critical decisive skills necessary to be a vital member of any business or organization.

The offer that Rob gave me in the ticket booth was that I could purchase tickets up until the 8th inning. As willing as I was to do this to appease my girlfriend who became agitated, I was unwilling to do so out of principle because we had tickets, however human error led us to come on the wrong day and there had to be a better solution.

I have been informed of the nature of the entertainment business by Dodger employees on the hotline that my tickets were for July 9th’s game and hence could not use them subsequently for July 8th’s game and this situation was compared to Staple’s Center.
Yet the fact of the matter remains, that there was plenty of capacity in the ball park. Dodger Stadium seats 56,000 people. July 8th’s attendance was announced at 38,529, which means there were nearly 20,000 seats in excess to seat us. The elephant in the room this season is the announced ticket sales are different from the actual attendance. Still there were roughly 20,000 seats in excess to seat us. Something to keep in mind, is there were no immediately pennant implications of tonight’s game as this was a midseason game with the Padres who entered the game in fourth place in the NL west with a 40-49 win loss record, only in front of the Dodgers who entered with a 38-51 record.

My understanding of the situation is Dodger Fans are notorious for showing up late, and leaving early, and there are lots of unsavory elements that come with them. Opening Day was an example of such elements which would naturally lead to a creation of a policy that must be strict to detail that no one comes to Dodger stadium on a free ride. But also, there are so many people just trying to make a life for themselves that love baseball who cannot afford to pay back pay on the salaries of Andruw Jones, Manny Ramirez, or lawyers for the team’s current ownership situation.

We were happy to exchange these tickets, however Rob and others indicated that these tickets “had no value”. And Rob had actually taken the tickets from us, and kept them on his side of the booth while stating we could purchase tickets for the night’s game. In his words, he simply could not give us “free tickets”. What a hoot. These tickets had enough value to grant us admission into the stadium to see a major league baseball game. These tickets also said, “VIP”. Where I come from, VIP means “Very Important Person”, however when Rob kept them on his side of the ticket booth and didn’t immediately return them, “VIP” meant “Voila In Progress”.

The beauty about baseball is it’s accessible to everyone. It unites people from all walks of life and gives people hope. Current players like Dustin Pedroia of the Boston Red Sox or Todd Coffey of the Washington Nationals do not fit the archetype molds of baseball players. The Dodgers very own Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in 1947. Flags adorn the stadium indicating the player’s country of origins. This is a waving tribute to the strength of what was a farm system that was the toast of Major League Baseball. The point is baseball serves a very important function of giving people hope, of creating a special time vacuum where a person can reclaim their youth and share memories with future generations. Unfortunately, I feel very slighted and alienated from the Los Angeles Dodgers. Fortunately, there is an American league team also in “Los Angeles”."

Posts

2011-07-02T06:08:00.000-07:00

I've been writing letters. Two are to the courts. One is real good. It talks about a bailiff calling me "mentally stable". I link this bailiff's statement to Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, and Jesus Christ being mentally stable. Apparently the court celebrates all three people. They need to get polished up. I also wrote a letter to my landlord. Give me a few days and I'll post them on here.

Letter to Motel 6 (This was in email form because I didn't want to look up the address. This was hindering me from sending the letter)

2011-06-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

I arrived at the hotel around midnight and was very tired and need to rest because our friends were getting married in Bodega Bay the next day (Monday). The downstairs clerk placed us in the upstairs room closest to the street. When we arrived at midnight, the street wasn't loud, however, I was abruptly awaken before 5am because the noise from the cars was so loud. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't and eventually gave up and started my day early around 7am. This was not the way I wanted to be rested for the wedding. Also, come to find out there were plenty of hotel rooms further in the property. I was very disappointed with the Motel 6 brand and will not recommend it. It seemed like this was more of an hourly room than anything. I needed a good nights rest and couldn't because of the loud cars off the street.

Letter to Food Network

2011-06-27T22:49:00.001-07:00

To Whom It May Cocnern:

In the last year I have become a big fan of the food network programming. It is a treat for both me and my girlfriend to watch episodes of chopped and next food network star on hulu. As someone with some television experience, I appreciate the show immensely.

I am writing to express my support for Penny the Middle Eastern Mama. Ir is refreshing to see er kosher style cooking. As you know she is ideal to reach out to the significant Jewish and Moslem communities here in America. Her mixed background is definitely a plus!

I know Jeff is the front runner, but sincerely hope Penny is given ample consideration.

Yours Truly,

p.s. I would love to attend a taping of a show in the Los Angeles area!

Lengthy Letter to Home Depot

2011-06-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

" To Whom It May Concern:

In one of my Sociology MA classes a colleague of mine suggested a research proposal that would pay 5,000.00 USD in a drawing for their participation. The professor childed him and stated that it was deceiving and wouldn't pass the institutional review board at our school.

Yet when I go to Home Depot and purchase something, there is this exact scenario on every receipt. Moreover on a visit a few years ago in one of the stores, an employe was speciifcally there to encourage customers to fill out a survey. I was in a hurry, but returned the next day to conduct the survey. I asked a few questions and the lady informed that to the best of her knowlege nobody from California won.

I want to share my thoughts on this survey. The store has predominantly intelligent contractors and uneducated workers. The contractors may not have the time to conduct the survey or have the forsight to not take part in it. The workers may be inclined to offer a more optimistic picture in hopes of winning 5,000.00. They don't know the probabilities of winning, and like their work for the contractors, the situation is perpectuated where the workers are undercompensated for their efforts. My biggest gripe with Home Depot is it's impact on the community as the arguments against Wal Mart are alligned with Home Depot's impact. For example, I grew up in a town with a small independent hardware store that was run for multiple generations. These people participated and were active members of the community. Home Depot put this store out of business. The community became less vibrant with these family's heartache.

I see this happening all over the area I live in. My hope is that someone in the higherup ups will read the Dr. Seuss novel The Lorax. Please give it to your children. Fight Investor Lawsuits. the system is flawed and we humans are becoming disconnected from the evnrionment and each other. Home Depot is a factor in all of this.

I sincerely wish your company goes out of business and that Home Depot feels the pains as many Americans have felt as a result of the effects of Home Depots in local communities.

Yours Sincerley

Letter to Rust Consulting

2011-06-25T21:32:00.000-07:00

"To Whom It May Concern"

I am in receipt of a letter that declares me inelgible for claim number... in the Fair Fund Distribution in Sec v Bank of America.

I did have elgible shares in my Roth IRA account through Wells Fargo. The acct number was W....lI had two shares. Wells Fargo may be contacted at 1 866-849-5758. I authorize Rust Consulting to verify this information.

The check may be mailed to

I may be contacted at

Yours Truly,

p.s. the error may be because my last name is spelled incorrectly on the letter

Letter to Meyenberg Goat Milk Distributors

2011-06-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

"To Whom It May Concern:
I recently saw goat milk in my local supermarket. The thing about this market is it is not like the standard Ralph's Krogers or Safeways in the World.

It is a market that caters to low income people. When I saw goat milk was offered, I thought, "what a treat".

Goat Milk has surpassed my expectations. I am a big fan of goat cheese. I am a fun of goats. What wonderful creatures.

Anyways, I am headed to a wedding in Northern California and Burningman also in the next four months. If it's possible, I would like to schedule a field trip to maybe meet a few goats.

It would be me and my girflriend driving up. We have been together for four years. What better place for a getaway.

Letter to California Milk Advisory Board

2011-06-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

To Whom it May Concern
I saw a very interesting billboard off the freeway the other day. It stated that 99% of the California Dairy farms were family owned. I am very interested in the 1% of the dairy farms that aren't family owned.

Are these the types of places that try to cram every orifice of the farm to maximize profits? Or are these legitimate companies practicing mindful practices? Can I take my child there?

I understand this may be a tough question, but I am very interested in finding more information out and paying these farms a visit.

Yours Sincerely,"

Letter to Dodger People

2011-06-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

"It is with much delight that I send these receipts for the 76 ticket promototion. One of them is a reprint, however I do have credit card receipts to prove I purchased fuel at 10 gallon fillups.

It;s been many years since I've been to a Dodger Game because I lived in San Diego for a while.

Enclosed you will find a self addressed stamped enevelope (I know times have been tough)

I umpire baseball so any additional tickets if available, I would be happy to distribute to coaches to give to their players. But am also happy to take my girlfriend to a game. Times have been rough with us, so a data at Dodgers stadium would be absolutely lovely.

Letter to Baseball Coach

2011-06-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

I did not receive a game fee on the field so I sent a letter to the coach at the school.

Dear__

It was a pleasure to work for your team today. As per our agreement to have a check mailed to me from the school, enclosed is a self addressed stamped envelope. I imagine this is the only check being sent, however would be happy to fill out a tax form if necessary.

Yours,

Letter to Christopher Gray Casting

2011-06-20T23:58:00.001-07:00

Dear. Mr. Gray,

I would like to share with you my experience in earning an 87$ check for my work as an extra on the production of "Luck".

First, I had to sort out which casting company was filming at the racetrack in my hometown. I then signed up for more information on your site. A few months later, I received an email informing me I could create an appointment to register. I made an appointment for the following Monday and showed up at the time of my appointment to register. To my dismay, there was nobody in the office. I called and left a message and it was returned a few hours later. It was implied that the lady on the phone would waive the $25 fee to register. I said I could not make it, but promisted to return to register the following day. The next day I returned, however, along the way received a ticket for not having a hands free device for my cell phone. In a perfect world, I would have been able to register the day previously and had not had to run around. When I had registered, Dave helped me by getting me in the system. Though, in my opinion I dont think Dave was authorized to waive my fee. I did mention what had happened with my appointment. I have been studying qualitative sociological methods in school and from an analysis of Dave's speech, my inference was "Luck" was the only thing currently being cast by your office. For the next few weeks, I called with availability, however gbot busy with graduate school, umpiring baseball, and substitute teaching.

On may 26th, 2011, I was on my way out to do a planned errand with my mom, when I received a call at a little after 8 in the morning. It was a rush call, so I rushed into my 1969 Camaro and drove to the racetrack. Imagine my excitement thinking my goal as an actor to earn a union voucher had been met. I had rushed to set within 30 minutes of the call and had cleared wardrobe and found a production assistant at 845 am. For this rush call, the extra consideration was 6$ of time, yet in the back of my mind was Dave resassuring me how the relationship between people and the casting agency was different at Christopher Gray Casting.

The point of this letter is to inform you that for the trouble, I went through with registering, getting a ticket, and the rush call, I don't feel adequately whole. Therefore, I am asking for your attentive consideration in making me whole and continuing a steadfast and loyal agency.

I would like to earn a union voucher. I've taken acting classes, performed in theatre, and confuct myself with the utmost professionalism.

Thanx for your time. I hope we can continue a positive working relationship.

Respectfully Yours,

Letter to Director of Financial Aid Office at my local University asking for 6,000

2011-06-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

Dear,

In 2010 I was very grateful to be awarded a State University Grant. I worked a total of 7 jobs so I could go to school, and pay living expenses. These experiences were helpful as they have given me a good schema to work with in understanding the world. None of these are fancy nor do they pay a lot. I worked as a substitute teacher, baseball umpire, enumerator for the United States Census Bureau, baseball codifier for Stats LLC, Background actor, tile installer, and real estate property manager).

All this "income" from different sources meant that my expected family contribution was 263.00. Or in other terms, I made 9,422.00 which is 42% of the poverty threshold. Yet with all this work I performed, I was able to maintain a 3.97 grade point average on the year while participating in clubs and student theatre performances. However, None of my jobs define me, like none of Martin Luther King's, or Gandhi's jobs define them. Similarly Rosa Parks and Jesus Christ had great contributions to American society, but their jobs didn't define them. The point is these people are defined by their strong wills and actions they did to better human society.

Last year If I would have have just not worked and had an expected family contribution of zero, I would have been elgible for financial aid. I think this sets a poor precedence and encourages people to set their limits to be sycophants of the state.

As a person with background in sociology, I am interested in finding out the actual numbers behind the state University Grants. I imagine this is public information, but had no idea where to file a records request. The front line staff in the center for financial aid, do not have the answers to this question.

I have five questions to which your responses to any of them will be truly valued:

1. How much money was there to be awarded for the 2011-2012 school year?

2.How many students had expected family contributions of "0".

3. Why is not possible for another student to transfer unused aid to me. For instance, my girlfriend was awarded a State University Grant, but does not need it for one quarter because she is set to be done with her classes early.

4. If funds do become available for whatever reason, would you please consider making a special action to retain me as a student here at ____ for outstanding contributions to the student community?

5. If granted a state University grant this year, I am willing to create a 25,000.00 scholarship for aspiring creative intelligent students that don't fit standard molds; but the Cal State Los Angeles community would benefit greatly from retaining them. How would I go about doing so?

Yours Sincerely,

Letter to Health and Human Services

2011-06-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

"To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to know more information about the National Children's Study.

I would either like to be a person conducting interviews (I worked with the census bureau), or I would like to offer my input my input as a participant.

I am a sociology graduate student at a Southern California University".

Yours Truly,

Letter to Nestle Waters

2011-06-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

"To Whom It May Concern:

I've noticed on packages of Arrowhead Mountain Spring Water that there is pronounced statements about reducing plastic. Yet to me it appearss as if package sizes are decreasing and that these smaller packages are encouraging users to consume more.

For example in 2005 (ish) the clear Arrowhead plastic bottle that held one gallon was reduced to hold less than 1 gallon. Now in 2011 it appears as if the original one gallon container begot the current 3 liter container. Furthermore it appears as if the current 3 liter containers uses up more plastic because it needs to because of a large conical invert.

In my opinion this invert is suspicious. In a way it tricks users and longtime consumers that they are getting the same product, yet this slight difference has ramifications for not only the planet but for shareholders.

I would like to know more information about this product (3L bottles). Specifically the different sizes this style of container has been. Also, I would like to see if reserach is done to produce optimal sized containers for Arrowhead Mountain Spring Water Containers.

Yours Truly"

*Note-Arrowhead is a brand of Nestle Waters which is actually based in Connecticut.

Letter to Zoological Society of San Diego

2011-06-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

"To Whom it May Concern

This is the second time I've asked to be removed from the mailing list. I am not longer a member or a citizen of San Diego County.

As much as I love animals, I simply cannot afford to give money to them via this foundation. How is it I work multiple jobs and can barely stay afloat. I live over 100 miles away!

Each letter that is sent is one more tree that is processed and more piece of paper I need to recyle. I don't even open these letters anymore. This organization does not need to send them to me anymore.

We are broken up. "No means "No!"

Letter to Mt. Olive Pickle Company

2011-06-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

"To Whom It May Concern
I would like to express my enjoyment of pickles. Often when I go to the market I try to purchase pickles that have the least amount of ingredients. Most of these are from Bulgaria or Israel. Sometimes I buy Mt. Olive Pickles. My burning question is how come polysorbate 80 and yellow 5 are used as ingredients. In my understanding yellow 5 is not a necessary component. Does this affect taste? Does this affect purchasing preferences?

Thank you for your time"

California State Prison (Corrections System)

2011-01-31T15:20:00.001-08:00

It sickens me how much the state of California spends on it's prison population rather than it's student population. I believe the state is run by dyslexics. When someone gets out of college they are saddled with enormous amounts of debt, yet when someone gets out of prison, they got to live free for a while with perks. Benjamin Franklin said once said, those that will trade "liberty for security deserve neither" . ' He clearly wasn't around during the post-post modern period. I mean, if someone ever desperately needs health care, they should strongly consider imprisonable misdemeanors.

paper or ___________

2011-01-04T11:57:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about the usage of paper as a medium to display information that is current, however so much of it is to waste. Think of the newspapers with the shitty advertisements that last a week. For instance, a tree died, costing the world vital oxygen so much I could save 10 cents on a can of tuna (thats probably not dolphin safe) during the week of October 7-13 at Walgreens pharmacy.

It seems as if information for the now should be disemminated and dismantled on the internet, and that which should be written in stone should be written on paper.

Maybe I've been watching too much of the Office.

It's not lying-!

2010-12-18T09:47:00.000-08:00

It's called "well structured information".

This is the idea behind everything. When a person does their taxes, when they write a letter/article, when they make their points known, there is always someone to refute it, however the better structured the information that is being presented, the more plausible it seems, and the more plausible it seems the better accepted it is by others.

Direct Mailings for Credit Cards

2010-12-18T08:29:00.000-08:00

I just realized each overdraft fee I paid to as a young man on my debit card financed the same bank's bi-monthly solicitation for a credit card for two years.

It seems as if God is a convenient one

2010-12-06T21:59:00.000-08:00

I mean people tend to see God's grace in things when it is convenient for them. When they get their way, it tends to be God's will. I don't think this is correct.

Science vs. The Internet

2010-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Why do scientific studies point out connections to certain degrees and probability while internet articles always use such authoritative phrases as, "ever" , "best", and "hottest"

World Trade Center Controversy

2010-08-30T23:56:00.001-07:00

I think it's crazy that people would have a burn the Quran day. This is completely silly. Why not burn the United States constitution, or the bill of rights.

Wells Fargo Investments Unfair Business Practice

2010-08-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

Today I got into it with my bank because they tried to close out my account and take away 95.00 from me, even though I was using my money for educational expenses and played by the rules by sending them a form.

Apparently when you zero down your account, they close the account and charge 95.00 to close out the account. I know there is one thing for certain and that is I work very hard for my money, and I'll be damned to give them a red penny to do a few administrative tricks.

What really irks me is they say they send out a check on a certain day, and them money disappears from your account on this day, however it takes 2 weeks to arrive in the mail without a post mark on the piece of mail. This is certainly fishy.

Clearly, it's difficult to get a hold of the people that make the policy, because of the what Anthony Giddens says we live in an abstract system, however since we live in an abstract system, I can easily close my accounts, make asinine posts on social media that effectively target the larger of the entity, even though the investments portion of Wells Fargo harmed me, (if someone strikes me with their right fist, I wouldn't strike them in the right fist, I would target the head of course) and run up my entire balance on my credit card with no intentions of paying them back.

Anyways, After enough haggling, they awarded my account the money, but because I'm so disgruntled, I think I'm going to close the account and haggle enough to get them to pay me the 95.00.

Car insurance

2010-08-30T23:38:00.000-07:00

The other day I was getting a car insurance quote, and the people told me they would not insure my car because I had black plates. I found this a terribly racist thing because I was being denied coverage strictly because of the color of my license plate. If my license plate was white, of course there is no problem.

Serious Relationships

2010-02-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

How come the girl I'm with says she wants a serious relationship, but anytime I try and talk about anything serious like time travel, Linux, or government affairs she gets upset.

The guy at Costco really said this

2010-02-08T04:14:00.000-08:00

I went to the hot dog window at Costco because I've been on this kosher fix and have been actively trying to watch my diet more carefully. I asked "are the hot dogs factory farmed" to which the guy working there looked at the developing line and said, "they're kosher". I asked, "no I mean, are they from factory farms?" and the guy once again said "they're kosher".

I should have asked him if if it had electrolytes?

collections

2010-02-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

Here's what I don't understand. I bust up a 600 dollar phone bill that I am not willing to pay and the phone company isn't willing to negotiate on. Then they send the bill to collections for pennies on the dollar, can't they just settle. Turds.

DO NOT TRUST PEOPLE ON CNBC

2009-12-18T12:48:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about it. A mastermind in the stock market doesnt have to worry about dressing up nice, because it doesn't matter. He is a mastermind.

Really rich executives piss me off

2009-12-15T23:16:00.000-08:00

I was thinking that if everyone was like f-these people and just didn't do anything anymore and kissed modern capitalism goodbye, then these people would have all these units of paper and binary data points in some bank transaction system that wouldn't mean a thing.
Then they would be forced to live on the streets with everyone else.

Don't ask others what you wont do yourself.

2009-11-15T21:17:00.000-08:00

The phrase, "Don't ask others what you won't do yourself", and then when people ask me to do stuff. Shit, can't you do it yourself.

Baseball Umpires

2009-10-27T18:08:00.001-07:00

The whole idea of instant replay on umpires pisses me off. The best part of going to baseball games is when there is a close call, or even better yet the umpire kicks the call, someone comes out screaming, they get kicked out because they made things personal, and then it's off to the races.

To take this away from the game of baseball is communist. It's un-American. I hope Bud Selig has the cajones to tell the media to F-off. He's got the highest rated umpires in all of baseball. However, for those that don't know, baseball is the only sport where there are more officials in the playoff games, than the regular season. Moreover, during the regular season the umpires work in crews and understand each other's nuances. My completely unsolicited proposal is to have 6 umpires a game during the regular season. Let the normal four rotate. Offer minor leaguers a chance to be on a big league field with the foul line jobs. Pay them in peanuts. And by peanuts I mean six figures. This is pip squeaks for major league baseball. Or just pay the players less.

Heres a way to get a cash advance without any of the annoying interest

2009-09-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Purchase dollar coins directly from the United States Mint. Banks are facing very high credit card portfolio losses, while the U.S. Mint is looking to increase circulation of it's dollar coin.

In theory one could purchase coins from the US Mint on their credit card, and then not pay their credit card.

The banks don't want you to know this.

Trilogies

2009-07-09T13:11:00.000-07:00

For instance the movie Mission Impossible 3. I thought the second one was just a fluke

Non Profits vs. For Profits

2009-07-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

How come essential items are always more expensive at non profit co-ops than for profit businesses?

Picking up Stragglers?

2009-07-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

why did the girl that was walking back and forth on el cajon blvd asked me for money when i offered her a ride?

Old Vs New

2009-06-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

How come at thrift stores one can purchase new items like new trucker hats for super cheap, yet at high end stores like Macy's one can purchase items that are "designed to fade" and have old looking effects for a premium?

Whats up with Capitalism

2009-05-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

I don't understand it's ways. Have an interaction with another person. Try to take their money for your own gain. Buy low, sell high. Mixed with emotion, it's more often than not sell low, buy high.

Capitalism is for the unemotional. It's groups of people working together to take a person's money. Each person doing their own little job, a replaceable part, unaware of the larger picture at hand. Big corporations don't make their millions off charging each individual person a lot of money, they get it through small accounts, transactions, and contracts. A nickel profit here, a dime there. A set up fee, a closing fee, a maintenance fee, a "special offer". It's very pleasant to give your money away through personalized postage paid envelopes and free online bill pay. Capitalism greets you when you walk in the door, and rushes you on your way out. Workers huddle and hurrah in the morning fearful of losing their jobs unless they arrive early, stay late, and work Saturday's. Spouses hear the grunts of their significant other's days.

Capitalism is the gift that keeps on giving. It's forecasting, projecting, reports, and cut throat. Capitalism is grown men in equipment hitting each other as hard as they can with instant replays, fantasy statistics, and jersey sales. Capitalism is a backwards chapter of a movie because as technology gets better, actors get older, and the only way to expand on a franchise is to revamp it's graphics, with younger actors rehashing a story line where the viewer already knows the ending, but the real question is what is the beginning? Capitalism allows one to travel the world. Want to telephone India. Call a 1800 number at 3am. Want cheap Chinese Goods? Go to your local store.

Capitalism is a burger king manager yelling at you for putting soda in your water cup. Capitalism is the rational choice to become obese through purchasing cheap food fast. Capitalism is paying to go somewhere to stand in line. Capitalism is the 7000%markup. Capitalism is a sales interrogation with a sense of urgency, for something that takes a while to grow like a bank account, or improving your physique at the gym. Capitalism is cash flow, leveraged buy outs, and jumping out of office windows mid day because a couple numbers don't go your way. Capitalism makes it illegal to charge your friend to give them a ride across town, but legal to charge a convenience fee.

Capitalism is the currency of faith. It's a simultaneous push and pull of each counterparty, each granting enough credit to the other with both sides achieving record profits until one side doesn't want to play anymore. Capitalism is one sided minded "consultants" with strict sales quotas, customer service, and written warnings. Capitalism is the disappearance of millions of dollars overnight, lost in a sea of numerics. Capitalism is doubling down on ones investment. Capitalism achieves a balance in the few who ruin things for the many with offshore drilling, couped up farm animals ready to be slaughtered, and fouled up air, and the many striving to be like the few with their compensation packages, yachts, and expense accounts.

Capitalism is being paid the sum of your wages with taxes taken out right before rent and other bills are due. Capitalism is for the successful liars who can look the other way. A friend once said, capitalism is when both parties walk away from a transaction feeling like they totally fucked the other person.

I guess I do understand it's ways. I was just hoping I wouldn't. Capitalism is a kaleidoscope of rationality as the irrational actor in a rational marketplace is only later perceived as a rational actor in an irrational marketplace.

Yelling Charge at Baseball Games

2009-05-09T01:08:00.000-07:00

Why>?! Thank you for making my time that much more expensive.

Reusable Bags

2009-05-06T12:12:00.001-07:00

I saw a reusable shopping bag at the store the other day. It was advertised as earth friendly. I think it's because it traveled halfway across the globe from China to get to my local Longs CVS Pharmacy.

Dropped off Furniture

2009-05-01T18:25:00.000-07:00

is taking littered furniture from goodwill bins after hours and then selling for a profit morally wrong?

Something I don't trust

2009-04-23T08:28:00.001-07:00

Now that I am without a real "job" I've been to a couple presentations. One was to sell prepaid legal services to people, the other to be a financial "consultant" and sell stuff through AIG...er I mean Sage Point.

In both presentations, and in presentations I've seen throughout the years I've always seen charts that go nothing but up. Similarly, both companies wanted me to pay an upfront fee to join them. That kinda sucked.

So, the next time I am at a presentation, even if I'm buying or selling stuff, I'm not going to post a chart with an arrow going up. They're just ploys for others to make obscene amounts of money off my back.

Why can't we come up with good technologies?

2009-04-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

There is no reason.

As I woke up this morning and checked my phone for market news more out of habit than necessity I had a realization. Why can't the six million people who are unemployed in this country work together on projects that are great for our country, our economy, our environment.

I'm absolutely positive that with six million people working together on a wiki like project, especially with the newly added ranks from General motors and Yahoo we can work together on creating a green earth friendly energy. It can be our contribution to our planet this Earth Day.

There are things in this world that don't make sense. Like a tree bearing fruit, or grass growing in a field where a business stood twenty years ago, or an encylopedia that's been made from the masses for the masses, more accurate, focused, and in depth than ones made in private enterprise.

As a sociologist, I've observed a revolution has occured. I believe this is the logical next step. We can't depend on big companies anymore. We can't put our savings in banks. We must forge ahead bravely.

Let There Be

2009-04-20T12:20:00.001-07:00

Let There Be

Let there be life
Let there be sprouting seeds
Let there be peace and hopefullness in this world
Let there be spring
Let there be a place where everyone can enjoy serenity
Let there be fresh air to breathe
Let there be harmony
Let there be a place in another person's soul for everybody
Let there be an infinite world of possibility
Let there be hope
Let there be magic
Let there be glory
Let there be freedom
Let there be courage
Let there be heros
Let there be a child's imagination
Let there be holiness
Let there be technology
Let there be wealth, and power
Let there be an alternate universe where all that can be perceived exists
Let there be school be on weekends
Let there be dark foreboding souls eager to kill people slowly
Let there be death to bunnies
Let there be consumerism, and abundant use of plastics
Let there be capitalism, bankruptcy, despair, murder
Let there be joblessness, rainy days, and pain
Let there be the blood of the many innocent shed for the gains of an entitled few
Let there be the destruction of art and welfare
Let there be others to do your bidding
Let there be a reckoning back to reality of good and hope and peace
Let there be hope
Let there be more important things
Let there be ice cream for all

Experimental Drugs and College Students

2009-04-19T01:58:00.000-07:00

How come the brigthest minds at america's best research universities are targeted for the most experimental drugs?

Taxi Drivers

2009-04-14T04:12:00.000-07:00

Why not drive around a car that gets more than 8 miles per gallon?

Top Things College Admins do with their Salary Increases

2009-04-13T01:38:00.000-07:00

Make sure all their household pets receive manicures

purchase solar panels for their vacation homes to save on energy costs

donate food to starving american households putting their children through college

personally funding a.i.d.s. "research" with a group of south american trannies

Baskin Robbins and Specialization

2009-04-12T17:07:00.000-07:00

Specialization-It seems to me that if an entity specializes in something, they would be able to have lower prices than anybody else. Working a half hour for a double scoop of icecream is shitty

How to Reverse Bank Fees

2009-04-11T18:18:00.001-07:00

How to Reverse Bank Fees
For the average consumer a small charge on their statement for a bank fee isn’t a big deal, but when you multiply these small charges by the millions of people with bank accounts it becomes a big deal. These charges are gravy and pure profit for the banks.

A person should never have to pay bank fees ever again.

Bankers are salesman. They are there to sell you stuff. If they can’t make a sale, then they are servicing your needs. Bankers will go through mumbo jumbo tools to make you think they can’t do anything. What the average person doesn’t know is they can override these tools. In fact it’s your duty as a consumer to make them override these tools.

The first thing a person can do is just not leave the seat by asking questions. If you have a bank fee, there is no such thing as a stupid question. Sit there and filibust until the banker offers you a solution to leave your seat. You need to walk in there with a goal of not leaving until you no longer have a bank fee. This is a silent negotiation. The bankers time is worth money. They need to sell stuff. Make them make an executive decision to get you out of there.

Example if the fee is five dollars you want removed, take up half an hour of their time. If they don’t remove the fee the first time, then come back. They’ll remember you and be a little more forgiving. They’ve got quotas to meet.

In this economy a lot of the banks are having trouble in the stock market. What you can say as a stockholder is you’ve been shafted and are riding the ship out. The last thing you want is to add insult to injury. Then following the previous advice, don’t leave, ask questions. Filibust. They will do whatever it takes to get you out of there.

Another way to reverse a bank fee is to go in under the guises of purchasing a new product like a tertiary checking account. This will make the banker salivate, but until you do, you have a couple of annoying fees. The best time to do this method is at the end of the month, or right before closing time. Believe it or not! Bankers are not wolves. They are people that want to go home to their distressed spouses, and if you don’t let them leave then they would be more than willing to help you with your silly little fee

The last method of getting a bank fee reversed, especially if it’s the pesky kind to close an account like a retirement savings is to not have any money in there. This way they can’t charge you 25 dollars or however because it just isn’t there. You can’t take nothing from nothing, and if you are you’re dealing with derivatives which are a completely different ball game.

Internal Bank Memo

2009-04-11T18:17:00.001-07:00

Internal Bank Memo
While selling bank financial products it is most important to win and do whatever it takes. That's why when we're selling financial products we must think of who we are and who the customer is. If it's an older lady, get her out of your window as fast as you can. Do her slips, call her children, get her going on the way. Our best customers are college students and when they come your window or desk be sure to sell them a financial product. College students are most gullible for credit cards and 2nd and third checking accounts. If you see a college student has a student credit card, upsell them to a regular or even better yet a rewards credit card. The students will get the rewards which amount to 1 percent and their parents will pay the bill. With second checking accounts, be sure to explain to the benefits of being able to track their finances more easily by having additional checking accounts. Remember features tell, benefits sell. By selling these accounts and meeting your quota you can keep your job. If you exceed your quota you may be elgible for a bonus. Remember to keep your notes on your desk for when the supervisor comes by to collect your numbers every hour.

Fake Kroger PSA

2009-04-11T18:15:00.001-07:00

This is a fake Kroger PSA
Some people think that with the recession looming it's ok to spend less money on everyday items and accept free lunches. We at Kroger want to let you know there is no such thing as a free lunch. For example, that tree you grabbed an orange out of the other day might have had someone pee on it. Do you really want to be eating urine. We didn't think so.

Thats why at Kroger our fruits and vegetables are brought to you from all over the world using indigenous methods to grow to curtail costs and maximize production. For instance, when an orange comes from the furthest parts of the world it means its probably the best. Don't take our word for it. Think about it the next time you pee on a tree. Be wary of the free lunch. Come in groups.

Government Poetry

2009-04-11T18:14:00.001-07:00

C-Span Haiku
Old white men speaking
Big Government makes me safe
Sluts they do at night

Cessna overhead
Capitol City vacant
Century in jail

Tired Rhetoric
Old Partisan Politics
Life Wasted Away

Steroids I hear
Village Idiots astray
Damn legislation

Africans they are
Litigous men bicker
In jail they must go

Federal Agents
Beat me to oblivion
Shoudn't have said bomb

Many thank yous they state
Old men tell gruesome stories
All of them bullshit

A book I saw at the 99 cent store

2009-04-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

It was called "Winning Texas Hold Em Poker".

Signs The Economy Is Getting Rough

2009-04-11T01:35:00.000-07:00

common street thugs have resorted to getting jobs on Wall Street to fund their meth habit

home depot starts charging illegals to use the port o potty at their stores

like the us government, people use their tax rebates to pay off interest on their loans

even professional athletes cant afford beer in their own stadium

cops start arresting you for bribes

rent a cops have actual police training

Here's my problem with analysts and forecasts

2009-04-10T01:26:00.000-07:00

How can they possibly be correct. Retarded. I dont know of anything thats within 1/10 of 1 percent. Like for instance of an airplane arriving wihin this margin of it's arrival time or a train or even a bus. Hell we cant even count votes to .001 percent error margin.

i was also wondering statements like, the world uses 86.4 million barrels of oil per day but amidst declining demand we forsee reduction by 80,000 barrels per day. Thats 1 percent. Thats so proposterous. Thats like saying gas at arco is 4.37 a gallon but next month i forcast it to cost 4.33 based on declining demand.

I mean, I can’t go out and analyze 16 year old girls and make an investment in time or money cause I know they’ll be hot in the future.

Beer at Ballparks

2009-04-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

What's up with the price of shitty beer in venues named after shitty beer companies? Case in point, 9 dollar drafts at Coor's Amphitheatre. One would think the price of beer would be subsidized.

Tipping

2009-04-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

I don't understand how people that make my sandwiches get shit for tips, but the people that get me a bottle of beer earn a dollar. Didn't the sandwich making process take a whole lot more. Don't even get me started on self serve yogurt stores.

Bankruptcy Lawyers

2009-04-09T14:29:00.001-07:00

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a person to take the last of a person's money.

Bankruptcy Lawyers

2009-04-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a person to take the last of a person's money.

Hmm...Lets think why we're in this predicament....

2009-04-09T14:05:00.001-07:00

If corporations sell debt to outside companies for a discount, and people go into debt because things are too highly priced, why don't these outfits just sell peoples debt to the people that created it. Or in other words, lower prices.

4th highest federal employeee

2009-04-09T14:02:00.000-07:00

Why is the President of the United States is the fourth highest compensated public employee in America trailing only the football coaches at the military academies. (Air Force, Army, Navy)

Prescription Drugs

2009-04-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

How come when i purchase prescription drugs its the same price for a 50 mg tablet as a 100mg tablet-but whenever I pay in nickels and tell the clerk they're worth dimes I get flack.

Paparazzi

2009-04-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

i dont understand how any of them could fashionista celebriries drive drunk. It seems like they would be accomplices if they spoiled rich girls get behind 2 ton battering rams.

Restaurants

2009-04-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

Why at restaurants do people pay a premium for their food and drink tap water with their meal while the same people are often super stingy at the market and wont pay an extra 20 cents for an organic apple but will totall buy bottled municipally sourced water.

Why fix dogs?

2009-04-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

My neighbor paid 599.00 for a dog, and spent 3,000 dollars performing exploratory surgery on it. Isn't it a simple question of ecomomics to just buy a new one?

Free Storage?

2009-04-09T02:01:00.000-07:00

Free storage-If you purchase a cheap ass van, store your crap in there, then resell it within a year it's considerably less than paying 50.00 a month for storage.

2009-04-09T01:53:00.001-07:00

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I learned this from the lady on the bus the other day

2009-04-09T01:50:00.000-07:00

I was looking for stock tips. She was talking.

the amylase derivative of the coefficient function of polyethanol subsidies greatly reduces the ozonation of the third trimester's photosynthetical barriers which in turn increass the probability of streetflow traffic on mondays thursdays and fridays from7-937pm is inputted in a specially coded databse for the funding of the overthrow of the president of burma who has deep ties to the underground australia group that controls the eastern hemisphere's whole grain supplies and capacity which is run by an even bigger subsidiary of halliburton who tried unsuccessfully to artificially increase demand for its product line ultimately depressing its integral middle management trainee program because the costs of such an item put a damper on the president's wife.

Truth in Advertising Meets TV's Sweeps Week

2009-04-09T01:27:00.001-07:00

Who wants to be a 641,000 aire?

deal or no deal
.0076
.076
.74
7.54
34.50
67.34
645.68
...568,546

190 Issue Content / Cover Ideas and Art Requests / the true monetary costs for tv game shows on: June 11, 2008, 09:00:59 AM

Who wants to be a 641,000 aire

jeopardy with the numbers-
117
285
417
554
674

The Case Against Mutual Funds

2009-04-09T01:23:00.000-07:00

The average mutual fund is a loser and is amplified so especially in today's market climate. Why pick a mutual fund that is more than likely to be a loser, when you can easily lose money yourself.

My Hometown

2009-04-09T01:21:00.000-07:00

My hometown is popular amongst the Asian Elite for it's reputation of excellent schools. This has led to families in asia saving up all their savings and coming into my hometown to purchase homes in the large lots and tear them down to build large mcmansions that take up entire lots. Often there will be multiple families living in these homes that were paid for in full with cash. a byproduct of these families living with multiple people in these large homes is people too old and underqualified to join the working ranks are now asked to come up with modest sums of money to pay their share of the property taxes. Some were smart and sold their homes when property values were rising, however this ultimately explains why this old lady neighbor of mine is digging through my trash.

Airline Fees

2009-04-09T01:20:00.000-07:00

Airline Fees-How come it's an extra 25.00 to carry on extra baggage on the plane, but when I'm carrying extra baggage in my trunk I get extra peanuts on the plane.

All you can Eat Ethiopian Food

2009-04-09T01:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the Weekly Reader there are coupons for all you can eat Ethiopian Food, so how come is it everytime I see Ethiopians on television, I look like I can be all they can eat food?

Thinking about Jesus at the Bethlehem Depot looking for work

2009-04-09T01:18:00.000-07:00

as a couple walks by him on their way to the latest items. Wife suggests, "lets not hire the weird guy". He talks too much.

Here's why Republicans should advocate universal healthcare

2009-04-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

The system they created to allow 35 dollar viagra pills has finally got the better of them.

Best Investment. Up 200 percent since 2005

2009-04-09T01:15:00.001-07:00

The best investment one can make is gold in ones teeth.

Selling my van

2009-04-09T01:14:00.001-07:00

Some asian kid wanted to buy my van, so I took him in it, and he tried to talk me down and he wasted my time. After all was said and done and he made me a lowball offer, I told him those that made low ball offers sociologically speaking like it in the butt.

Bailout Whiny Baby

2009-04-08T23:53:00.001-07:00

It seems like everyone is able to get rich off the fraactional reserve currency and derivatives, what they don't know is things are an illusion when it comes time to cashing out. Buy and hold is a terrible strategy. Buy then sell, then option, then sell is a better strategy.

I love how the market is a little whiny baby. It's like, give me 700 billion. Ok thanks. Now I'll go down now.

Wait, why do I need an M.B.A. again?

2009-04-08T23:46:00.000-07:00

When the true lesson they teach at business school is to copy anything that has market share, and claim it as your own. Even if the idea is so absurd that it will fizzle out in a couple years. It will also make you wonder what led up to the idea, and why the hell are there two competing existing ideas that both suck.

Case in point.
1. Cartoons about ducks.
(Darkwing Duck, and Duck Tales)

2. Nanny reality tv shows.
(Super Nanny, Nanny 911)

3. Style lines in American made mid range sports automobiles
(1990 Mustang vs 1990 Camaro) (1969 Camaro vs. 1969 Mustang) This is an abstraction. 1969 Camaros are cool.

4. Really Large SUV's
2000 Ford Excursion vs. 2000 Chevrolet Suburban)

5. 5 dollar footlong sandwiches
Quiznos and Subway, Blimpie in the midst of the recession. I was getting jipped years ago. I declare boycott all and eat the fruit from the trees.

Facials on Craigslist

2009-04-08T23:44:00.000-07:00

If Women will pay 200 dollars to receive a facial and men on craigslist will pay women 200 $ to give a facial, wouldn't it make sense for men and women to give each other what they want.

2009-04-08T23:43:00.000-07:00

So I'm real excited about prop 2 passing last October. It means farm animals have minimum standards to extend their limbs. I think this will have unintended health effects like healthier masses of people. Some opponents of the measure were saying conventionally grown eggs would become more expensive and to this I say "ptoooey". I know nothing about keynesian economics except for the fact its oxymoronic because I sound a lot smarter when I say I know nothing about it. I digress, what I do know is I will gladly pay the extra 8cents an egg it costs at the supermarket to purchase humanely grown eggs. And the jew in me will never pay the 1000 percent markup for eggs at dennys. So kudos to california voters.

On to a more pressing issue and this is allowing animals to marry. Currently animals can't marry.

Another pressing issue is to make it legal once more to eat humans. The passing of prop 2 was a.big step and food prices will inevitably rise. At least humans will be putting better things into their body. So why not eat them.

Remember this is a deocracy for the people, by the people, that should never perish from this earth.

This is a snippet of my BAC pension plan in October

2009-04-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

Whats sweet is I can take up to 30percent of my paycheck, and invest it, and have that matched by my employer after 1 year of working. Whats really neat is I won't have access to any of my funds until I'm 65. Theoretically, I'd be paying people to lose money for me.

So, for instance If I contribute 100.00 and put it into a mutual fund that loses 25 percent of the value I now have 75 dollars I can't access until 40 years from now.

Sweet! I love how my investment choices are all in the negative. It might take 43 muscles to frown, and only 17 muscles to smile, but it takes 323 to suck a financial dick. Oh yeah, I forgot about the taxes.

2050 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -23.86 N/A N/A N/A 16.12 09/30/2008
2045 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -23.43 N/A N/A N/A -2.30 09/30/2008
2040 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -22.05 0.92 N/A N/A 1.21 09/30/2008
2035 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -20.45 N/A N/A N/A -1.12 09/30/2008
2030 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -18.73 N/A N/A N/A 1.82 09/30/2008
2025 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -16.87 N/A N/A N/A 0.10 09/30/2008
2020 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -14.79 2.18 N/A N/A 2.35 09/30/2008
2015 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -12.23 N/A N/A N/A 1.61 09/30/2008
2010 LIFEPATH
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -9.00 3.02 N/A N/A 3.14 09/30/2008
LIFEPATH RETIREMENT
Inception Date 01/07/2008 -7.46 N/A N/A N/A 2.99 09/30/2008
Market Indices*
Lipper Income Funds Avg -22.06 -2.25 1.27 2.26 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Balanced Funds Average -27.79 -3.40 0.64 1.91 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Large- Cap Core Funds Average -36.22 -5.82 -0.41 0.08 N/A 10/31/2008

STOCK AND BOND FUNDS
Stock Investments
Large Cap Growth
GROWTH FD OF AMERICA
Inception Date 05/15/2002 -37.72 -4.65 1.94 N/A 2.17 10/31/2008
COL. MARSICO FOCEQ
Inception Date 12/31/1997 -37.29 -4.68 0.32 3.05 5.08 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
S&P 500 Index -36.10 -5.21 0.26 0.40 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Multi- Cap Growth Funds Average -40.47 -6.45 -0.44 1.10 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Large Cap Growth Fund Avg -38.55 -6.97 -1.58 -0.71 N/A 10/31/2008
Large Cap Blend
COLUMBIA LGCAP IDX
Inception Date 12/16/1993 -36.19 -5.33 0.14 0.17 6.75 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
S&P 500 Index -36.10 -5.21 0.26 0.40 N/A 10/31/2008
MSCI US Broad Market Index -37.54 -6.84 -0.96 N/A N/A 10/31/2008
Large Cap Value
DODGE & COX STK FD
Inception Date 01/04/1965 -42.64 -9.03 0.18 5.93 10.57 10/31/2008
COLUMBIA LGCAP VALUE
Inception Date 09/19/1989 -35.97 -5.32 1.70 1.63 7.67 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
S&P 500 Index -36.10 -5.21 0.26 0.40 N/A 10/31/2008
Russell 1000 Value Index -36.80 -5.24 1.90 2.79 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Multi Cap Value Funds Avg -38.75 -7.30 0.20 3.06 N/A 10/31/2008
Mid-Cap Blend
COLUMBIA MIDCAP IDX
Inception Date 03/31/2000 -36.40 -5.55 1.91 N/A 2.51 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
S&P MidCap 400 Index -36.46 -5.52 1.96 6.71 N/A 10/31/2008
Small Cap Blend
COLUMBIA SMCAP IDX
Inception Date 10/15/1996 -32.37 -4.42 3.19 5.89 6.21 10/31/2008
BATTERYMARCH SMCAPEQ
Inception Date 03/13/2000 -38.07 -8.32 -1.58 N/A 0.31 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
Russell 2000 Index -34.16 -4.79 1.57 4.90 N/A 10/31/2008
S&P 600 Index -33.26 -5.32 2.33 6.17 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Small Cap Core Funds Avg -36.97 -6.79 0.95 6.12 N/A 10/31/2008
Foreign
COLUMBIA INTL EQUITY
Inception Date 12/02/1991 -50.47 -6.06 2.13 1.87 3.83 10/31/2008
FIDELITY DIVERS INTL
Inception Date 12/27/1991 -48.04 -5.17 3.71 6.12 8.12 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
MS EAFE (Net) -46.62 -5.26 3.60 1.67 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Intl Large Cap Core Funds Avg -47.80 -5.97 2.48 1.18 N/A 10/31/2008
Lipper Intl Multi Cap Grwth Funds Avg -49.95 -5.13 2.96 2.47 N/A 10/31/2008
Specialty
FIDELITY REAL ESTATE
Inception Date 11/17/1986 -41.84 -8.68 3.45 8.33 9.04 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
Wilshire RE Sec Index N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
Lipper Real Estate Funds Avg -41.94 -8.00 3.21 8.24 N/A 10/31/2008

VANGUARD TOT STK MKT
Inception Date 05/31/2001 -36.14 -5.04 0.84 N/A -0.61 10/31/2008
Bond Investments
Intermediate-Term
COLUMBIA CORE BOND
Inception Date 12/14/1990 -3.51 1.63 2.05 3.92 5.52 10/31/2008
WESTERN ASSET COREBD
Inception Date 09/04/1990 -13.69 -1.91 0.43 3.76 6.51 10/31/2008
Market Indices*
LB Gov't Credit Bond Index -1.06 3.02 3.08 4.81 N/A 10/31/2008
LB Agg Bond Index 0.30 3.60 3.48 5.00 N/A 10/31/2008
Stable Value
STABLE CAPITAL FUND
Inception Date 01/01/1991 4.73 4.77 4.73 5.40 5.80 09/30/2008
Market Indices*
ML 91 Day T-Bill Index 2.72 4.15 3.27 3.52 N/A 10/31/2008
Ryan Labs 3-5 year GIC 4.69 4.40 4.36 5.27 N/A 10/31/2008

11% INTEREST FUND
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
8% INTEREST FUND
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
6% INTEREST FUND
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
CURRENT INT RATE
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
FUTURE PAYMENT II
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
FUTURE PAYMENT III
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
FUTURE PAYMENT I
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
INTEREST CREDIT 10YR
Inception Date N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
Company Stock
Company Stock
BAC COM STK FUND
Inception Date 12/01/1991 -24.82 -0.67 2.76 7.22 11.81 09/30/2008

Blackmailing Potential Employers

2009-04-08T23:39:00.001-07:00

My favorite ploy is to send them innocuous emails from a "girl", then respond back from me again, and again, and again, and let them know I'm informed of fair hiring.

Top Five Things I learned While Working at A Credit Card Company

2009-04-08T23:38:00.001-07:00

1) College men spend an abnormally high percentage of their discretionary income on dildos, butt plugs and beer bongs
2) Using the word "stinkies" when a customer has a problem is acceptable
3) Ensuring a customer already 40,000 in debt a third credit card with balance transfer is a good idea.
4) We technically make our most money on customers who haven't got money
5) Unless dealing with politicians, paying for things with bribery is the least expensive method
6) Were everywhere you want to be because we know your every move
7) Everything good in this world is free, we just attach prices to them
7a) were working on technology to charge people for breathing air
8) To ensure profits our bill processing machines are 94 percent accurate
9) Carrying cards is not a sign of status, its a sign on gullibility

Points and Points Based Systems

2009-04-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

Anytime anybody offers me something with points, I just don't do it. Points are evil. I don't do credit cards anymore.

Basically my conclusion is points exist to disguise a person is wasting their time and money on a concept. like at work, I have this dude that is always bugging me about shit. I'm like "dude, if you weren't so focused on your points, you'd realize it only means an extra .60cents an hour".

Boy this is getting bad

2009-04-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

The price of King Cobra, Mr. Obama's favorite drink, will rise to an astronomical 4 dollar and fitty cent per 22oz. Siiiieeeeet.

The price of crack cocaine will go down, thereby putting another 15 million paroles back on the streets.

the price of bling will be recapitulated in margins that will be completely unsustainable for economic growth.

Rational Market Rationalization

2009-04-08T23:33:00.000-07:00

"In a rational market the player that acts irrationally, will later be seen as the rational player in an irrational market".

List Poem about Working as a Bank Teller

2009-04-08T23:32:00.001-07:00

I can portray my job in the same light even though its the epitome of suck

Girls
Girls
Ladies
Money
More money
Lots of money
Anger
Atm
More atm
Straight deposit
Split deposit
Broken plastic wrapper
Hard time
Cunt yelling at me
Girls
Old lady
Old guy
Turkey sandwich with avocado

Whats up with Capitalism

2009-04-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

I know our government wants to bail the banks out because they are hoarding cash and not lending anything to anybody because of large losses on their balance sheets. Further bunk loans would cause depositors to withdraw their funds. It sux how in America people have to work continuously for thirty years to own a home. Native americans worked for like a day. This fractional system is burdensome because it ensures people are working all the time.

I'm thinking if the banks start lending again then people will borrow and spend and tax dollars will be generated. This will help fund government coffers.

What sucks is how expensive some services are. I mean dentists, lawyers, and doctors piss me off. pro baseball players piss me off too.

If people took the following steps then I think life in this country would be better.

1. Stopped charging their fast food-when people are poor and hungry they eat whatever they can. Fast food is loaded with nutritionally deficient ingredients.

If people stopped purchasing these "goods" then they wouldn't have such difficult debts to pay off.

Additionally if people just stopped using their credit cards and stopped getting enticed by free offers then interest rates on credit cards would go down because the companies would have to be more competitive.

Back to professionals. It pisses me off that people like cpas can charge whatever they want to crunch your numbers come tax time. Ideally speaking I think its best to sell certain products under the table. For example if I was a cashier at a movie theatre I would bring a bunch of kit kats to the display counter and sell them for cash.

Landlords piss me off because they insist on taking 1/r of whatever you make for housing.

Ok here's fun stuff. My name is joe blow.I make 100,000 a year. I pay 33k for my house and I pay 25' in taxes per year. Plus everything I purchase is taxed on. Groceries aren't.

Let's go back to professional baseball. I would love to see market forces take over and fans say, yknow. I'm tired of paying exorbirant amounts for beer.

Pleading Guilty at an Arraignment Hearing

2009-04-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

Why do People hire lawyers at their arraignment hearings to plead guilty? Seems silly.

Did anybody notice in the Chinese Earthquake

2009-03-09T01:41:00.000-07:00

relief is basically sending them the cheap shit we have them make for U.S. consumers.