Thursday, June 19, 2014

5 Surefire Ways to Avoid the Dreaded Friend Zone

Avoiding the dreaded Friend Zone is a difficult task to muster.  With these 5 surefire strategies, you’ll be sure to avoid the dreaded friend zone.
Hookers-Women don’t marry for love anymore.  They marry for a guy with a job. And if you have a job, be sure to flaunt your money everywhere you go.  Hookers are a great way to avoid the dreaded friend zone.  For the right amount of money, you can join in carnal embrace with the hooker of your dreams.  Ironically, with hookers, it actually costs more to make their company and be in their “friend zone” than to two-pump-your-chump into their dump.
Just did the math and realized a life time of hookers is cheaper than a divorce
Just did the math and realized a life time of hookers is cheaper than a divorce
Guns-Be sure to carry around a big gun with you at all times.  Shoot it capriciously in public to show women that you’re both alpha and omega male to avoid the dreaded friend zone.  Let your gun be a threat in the back of their mind that you don’t accept simply being a “friend”.Weird-guy-with-guns-e1342291240754
A big dong- Women won’t admit it, but they all watch porn and love a guy with a big dong.  Let her know you have a big dong.  Be sure to send them pictures of your raging member constantly.  Let them obsess over it.  They might not text you back right away, or pretend to get upset, but that just women being women taking advice from other women. They secretly love receiving pictures of your dong and its just a cultural formality to hear them they say they don’t appreciate your cock shot.  So are their restraining orders.  Simply put, this is just another manifestation of “no meaning yes”.
This is what happens if you send too many cock shots.
This is what happens if you send too many cock shots.
Internet Dating-There are plenty of internet dating websites out there that will ensure you avoid the dreaded friend zone. These sites allow guys everywhere the opportunity to boost the egos of homely looking women by sending women as many unanswered messages as their hearts delight. In only a short time, watch as your once nice messages turn into angry veiled threats to otherwise normal nice girls from being consistently ignored.
The internet is also good for cats.  With internet dating, your lonely ass will have lots of them.
The internet is also good for cats. With internet dating, your lonely ass will have lots of them.
Inter-species Love- Don’t let things like county ordinances get in your way.Find yourself a bitch somewhere.  Make love to her.  In return for just a bit of food and shelter, you’ll have a ready and willing female that would do anything for you.  Don’t fall in love.  Old dog puss is just nast.   But on bright side, you’ll never have the heartbreak of the “just friends” talk.
no, no, no, I ruff you more mush mush
no, no, no, I ruff you more mush mush
The friend zone is a misnomer.  It actually means,” yeah, if you were better looking or cooler or weren’t such a douche, we’d probably bang, but since  I’m not into you, lets hang out never.  However, if you use these 5 surefire methods, you’ll never have to worry about being in the dreaded “friend zone”.