Thursday, July 21, 2011

Letter to Jewish Center

Enclosed is a 10 dollar check for my grandmother. She passed away April 20, 2003. Please attach me to your mailing list.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Letter to Green Earth Vegan Cuisine

I went to this restaurant a few weeks ago and ordered the spinach asparagus soup and the bruschetta with my girlfriend. We were notably upset with the taste of both dishes. Everything else about the restaurant was fine because the food was presented well, and the service was good, we just did not like the food.

Both my girlfriend and I tend to eat vegan and we wish to support vegan establishments.When we had expressed both visual and verbal displeasure to the male that took our money about the quality of our food, he did not pick up our cues.

Anyways, we would like to give this restaurant another try and come back. Would you be willing to compensate us for the cost of the bruschetta and and spinach asparagus in the form of a food credit that we can use? We would be happy to return tonight, or this week.

Thank you for your understanding,

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Letter to Foundation Director at University


I really enjoyed meeting you. I am excited about the prospect of establishing a scholarship. With the tuition increase and the stipulation that 1/3 of tuition be redistributed to needy students, I feel like the horse "Boxer" from Animal Farm and thus it is a personal decision I'm grappling with to stay at the University.

Regardless, if I can find a job using my skillset in sociology, I would gladly set up a 10,000 dollar scholarship in my name as a return on the State University Grant I was awarded this year and if funds become available this year for another State University grant, I would be willing to create a 25,000 dollar scholarship in my family's name. It is the right thing to do.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Letter to Costco

To Whom It May Concern,
I've noticed a certain amount of Costco stores in California are losing the Hebrew Natioanl hot dog brand and replacing them with Kirkland Brand hot dogs. I am looking to learn more information about this switch.

My first impression was rising prices of hot dogs meant that a switch was in line to go to a less expensive affordable brand for consumers. But then I realized another, albeit, less likely possibility would be a kosher certification is nearly irrelevant considering all the dairy and pork being prepared in the food prep area.

It seems as if the primary market of hot dogs at Costco is for people who don't care where their food comes from or how it is materialized. These people seem to be concerned with quantity over quality.

Nevertheless, I miss kosher hot dogs!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Letter to Appeal Unemployment Decision

Enclosed is a copy of a lette that was sent to me by ___--schools which led me to believe I was elgible for unemployment benefits.

II was initially denied a claim because I work within a school district in accordance with Unemployment Insurance Code Section 1253.3. The claim denial was based on my reasonable assurance to work in _____School District the following year.

Because I cannot fully pay my bills substitute teaching, I do not consider myself primarily a substitute teacher. These three positions fully supplement each other in order so I can barely make rent. My thought process is because if one jobs falters, then I have something to fall back on. To earn a living, I must also have other sources of income. these include acting and umpiring baseball as an independent contractor.

I enjoy substitute teaching and working within the community immensely, however also need to set my sights on a job that pays a wage above the poverty level. I would like to receive benefits for the summer. Thank you for your understanding on this matter.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Letter to Girlfriend's Mom

Dear ____-
Thank you for bringing back such an authentic piece of Irish Culture. I love the Irish Derby and will wear it much. Thank you for thinking of me on your trip to Ireland. Glad you are home safe!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Letter to Gas Company

"Dear Gas Company,

I apologize. I have been hit on the head recently and am not entirely there. Or here.

This letter is requesting information to confirm that in fact I received a legitimate letter from The Southern California Gas Company.

I have had email for ten years and my email address gets all over. Fortunately I have a spam blocker, and haven’t responded to a phishing attack in years.

I am uncertain though if this is a legitimate letter. My understanding is criminals can be identified by their poor construction of the English language.

The first sentence in the letter dated May 16, 2011 sent to my address states, “Welcome to Southern California Gas Company”. I am utterly perplexed at the syntax of this letter. Why doesn’t this letter use the definite article, “the”. I imagine this would have created an unaesthetic look reading, “Welcome to the Southern California Gas Company”. Moreover, at the end of the letter, the endline states, “Your energy service provider” -13” My question pertains to is what energy and additional services can be provided before I set up an account. Why the 13? I think this may be a tell tale sign of criminal activity.

Since there is no address listed on this letter, and only a phone number, I am concerned with phishing attempts being made on my good name and credit.

I am writing this address to confirm that indeed this is a legitimate utility. If so, I am happy to establish an account, however do not want to become the victim of identity theft once again.

Thank you,
Resident "

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Letter to Energizer

To Whom It May Concern,

When I was a child I used to read 50 ways a person could save the Earth. The way I saw the world, there were the kids whose parents could afford Nintendo’s and Segas and whose who played with the Tiger LCD games. Man those Sucked!

Anyways, I am 29 years old and finally able to use things like remote controls, flip video cameras, and personal body massagers thanks to rechargeable batteries.
I wasn’t able to do so before a throwing batteries is a terribled thinmg to do the environment adn Rayovacs were prohibitively expensive.

Now it is nice to see a durable brand marketing rechargeable batteries. My question is what in the world took so long?


Monday, July 11, 2011

Letter to U.S Mint

A few years ago, I read a balance sheet that stated coins were an asset to the Federal Reserve Board, and paper currency was a liability. I am no economist, and the people that I know who do accounting ignored my request for information on the matter. My best guess is they did not have a comprehensive understanding.

I have purchased a good share of coins from the United States Mint, however do so anchored in the information that it may be a prudent investment, not for my generation, but for my grandchildren in 7 generations.

It seems like this is a loaded question full of fractional reserve policy and metal prices. Still though, I believe I can grasp this information if someone could point me in the right direction.

Yours Sincerely,

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Letter to Dodger Stadium

This is a letter I wrote to Dodger Stadium.

"Dear Mr. Hunter,

I love baseball. I umpire baseball. I’ve been to professional umpire school, major league umpire camp, played to the collegiate level, attended Spring Training every year since 2003, have more books on baseball than anybody I know, collect paintings, signed baseballs and have a comprehensive understanding of the game including the ability to rattle off nearly all the World Series winners for any particular year. My current research as a sociologist is on managerial ejections.

On July 7th, 2011, I had mistakenly went to the ball park with my girlfriend because I had mistaken these tickets for July 8th’s game. I found out July 8th’s game time was changed by ESPN to 1 10 pm. Unfortunately, I had made plans to attend the Tim Burton art exhibit at the Los Angeles Museum of Art in exchange for taking my girlfriend to baseball game. She isn’t into baseball as much as me.. If I was aware of the time change in advance I wouldn’t be getting the short end of the stick. I would rather go to a baseball game any day of the year. In fact, I traded my girlfriend’s attendance for the baseball game to my attendance at the art museum.

However, I received these tickets as a nice gift for umpiring baseball from a man who appreciated my professional style in his son’s high school summer game. I had made arrangements to attend the game which meant getting a baby sitter and paying for parking. To me this was such a treat, because I just moved back from San Diego to Los Angeles after 7 years and really wanted to see a Dodger game.

I was informed by people at the top deck ticket stand, the man who operated the smoking gate, Brett Carlyle, and Judy near lot D to speak with the people in the ticketing booth in Lot D.

With each person I explained my issue with they said that the policy would not allow them to change the tickets because “the tickets had no price on them”. I get it. Each employee is trained to say this otherwise they would lose their jobs. But there needs to be someone with executive authority to make a decision to realize that the game time has been changed and this sort of information is extremely difficult to disseminate to everybody.

I am old school in the belief in doing things the right way. To make things easier, I could have easily traded my tickets for the following day’s game with one of the “I need tickets guys”. My assumption was the Dodgers would be able to take the steps to make things right.

When I had asked to speak with the ticket booth supervisor, I was appalled at his unpolished professionalism. Right off the bat, I knew he was going to regurgitate “policy” when he referred to his subordinates as pronouns (she). Moreover, as I was explaining my dilemma to him he would say things like, “I’m hearing you” while expressing no empathy. I explained to him that I could hear people speaking other languages, but what they are saying does not register cognitively and I explained that this was what Rob was saying to me as he was saying, “I’m hearing you”.

From an organizational perspective, there must be someone that understands the extenuating circumstances and the consequences of applying policy to all. While a broad policy may work for containing a lot of people, what I had asked for is an executive that could help sort things out with a win-win solution. Most upsetting about my interaction with Rob was his misleading me into telling me he was willing to make a “special exception” for me, except my tickets had no price and hence he could do nothing. From what I gathered from different Dodger employees was exchanging future tickets value for value is standard practice and he had lied to my face. In my opinion, Rob is not a polished executive with supervisory capability, but rather a glorified clerk with an exceptional ability to regurgitate information who lacks that essential critical decisive skills necessary to be a vital member of any business or organization.

The offer that Rob gave me in the ticket booth was that I could purchase tickets up until the 8th inning. As willing as I was to do this to appease my girlfriend who became agitated, I was unwilling to do so out of principle because we had tickets, however human error led us to come on the wrong day and there had to be a better solution.

I have been informed of the nature of the entertainment business by Dodger employees on the hotline that my tickets were for July 9th’s game and hence could not use them subsequently for July 8th’s game and this situation was compared to Staple’s Center.
Yet the fact of the matter remains, that there was plenty of capacity in the ball park. Dodger Stadium seats 56,000 people. July 8th’s attendance was announced at 38,529, which means there were nearly 20,000 seats in excess to seat us. The elephant in the room this season is the announced ticket sales are different from the actual attendance. Still there were roughly 20,000 seats in excess to seat us. Something to keep in mind, is there were no immediately pennant implications of tonight’s game as this was a midseason game with the Padres who entered the game in fourth place in the NL west with a 40-49 win loss record, only in front of the Dodgers who entered with a 38-51 record.

My understanding of the situation is Dodger Fans are notorious for showing up late, and leaving early, and there are lots of unsavory elements that come with them. Opening Day was an example of such elements which would naturally lead to a creation of a policy that must be strict to detail that no one comes to Dodger stadium on a free ride. But also, there are so many people just trying to make a life for themselves that love baseball who cannot afford to pay back pay on the salaries of Andruw Jones, Manny Ramirez, or lawyers for the team’s current ownership situation.

We were happy to exchange these tickets, however Rob and others indicated that these tickets “had no value”. And Rob had actually taken the tickets from us, and kept them on his side of the booth while stating we could purchase tickets for the night’s game. In his words, he simply could not give us “free tickets”. What a hoot. These tickets had enough value to grant us admission into the stadium to see a major league baseball game. These tickets also said, “VIP”. Where I come from, VIP means “Very Important Person”, however when Rob kept them on his side of the ticket booth and didn’t immediately return them, “VIP” meant “Voila In Progress”.

The beauty about baseball is it’s accessible to everyone. It unites people from all walks of life and gives people hope. Current players like Dustin Pedroia of the Boston Red Sox or Todd Coffey of the Washington Nationals do not fit the archetype molds of baseball players. The Dodgers very own Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in 1947. Flags adorn the stadium indicating the player’s country of origins. This is a waving tribute to the strength of what was a farm system that was the toast of Major League Baseball. The point is baseball serves a very important function of giving people hope, of creating a special time vacuum where a person can reclaim their youth and share memories with future generations. Unfortunately, I feel very slighted and alienated from the Los Angeles Dodgers. Fortunately, there is an American league team also in “Los Angeles”."

Saturday, July 2, 2011


I've been writing letters. Two are to the courts. One is real good. It talks about a bailiff calling me "mentally stable". I link this bailiff's statement to Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, and Jesus Christ being mentally stable. Apparently the court celebrates all three people. They need to get polished up. I also wrote a letter to my landlord. Give me a few days and I'll post them on here.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Letter to Motel 6 (This was in email form because I didn't want to look up the address. This was hindering me from sending the letter)

I arrived at the hotel around midnight and was very tired and need to rest because our friends were getting married in Bodega Bay the next day (Monday). The downstairs clerk placed us in the upstairs room closest to the street. When we arrived at midnight, the street wasn't loud, however, I was abruptly awaken before 5am because the noise from the cars was so loud. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't and eventually gave up and started my day early around 7am. This was not the way I wanted to be rested for the wedding. Also, come to find out there were plenty of hotel rooms further in the property. I was very disappointed with the Motel 6 brand and will not recommend it. It seemed like this was more of an hourly room than anything. I needed a good nights rest and couldn't because of the loud cars off the street.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Letter to Food Network

To Whom It May Cocnern:

In the last year I have become a big fan of the food network programming. It is a treat for both me and my girlfriend to watch episodes of chopped and next food network star on hulu. As someone with some television experience, I appreciate the show immensely.

I am writing to express my support for Penny the Middle Eastern Mama. Ir is refreshing to see er kosher style cooking. As you know she is ideal to reach out to the significant Jewish and Moslem communities here in America. Her mixed background is definitely a plus!

I know Jeff is the front runner, but sincerely hope Penny is given ample consideration.

Yours Truly,

p.s. I would love to attend a taping of a show in the Los Angeles area!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Lengthy Letter to Home Depot

" To Whom It May Concern:

In one of my Sociology MA classes a colleague of mine suggested a research proposal that would pay 5,000.00 USD in a drawing for their participation. The professor childed him and stated that it was deceiving and wouldn't pass the institutional review board at our school.

Yet when I go to Home Depot and purchase something, there is this exact scenario on every receipt. Moreover on a visit a few years ago in one of the stores, an employe was speciifcally there to encourage customers to fill out a survey. I was in a hurry, but returned the next day to conduct the survey. I asked a few questions and the lady informed that to the best of her knowlege nobody from California won.

I want to share my thoughts on this survey. The store has predominantly intelligent contractors and uneducated workers. The contractors may not have the time to conduct the survey or have the forsight to not take part in it. The workers may be inclined to offer a more optimistic picture in hopes of winning 5,000.00. They don't know the probabilities of winning, and like their work for the contractors, the situation is perpectuated where the workers are undercompensated for their efforts. My biggest gripe with Home Depot is it's impact on the community as the arguments against Wal Mart are alligned with Home Depot's impact. For example, I grew up in a town with a small independent hardware store that was run for multiple generations. These people participated and were active members of the community. Home Depot put this store out of business. The community became less vibrant with these family's heartache.

I see this happening all over the area I live in. My hope is that someone in the higherup ups will read the Dr. Seuss novel The Lorax. Please give it to your children. Fight Investor Lawsuits. the system is flawed and we humans are becoming disconnected from the evnrionment and each other. Home Depot is a factor in all of this.

I sincerely wish your company goes out of business and that Home Depot feels the pains as many Americans have felt as a result of the effects of Home Depots in local communities.

Yours Sincerley

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Letter to Rust Consulting

"To Whom It May Concern"

I am in receipt of a letter that declares me inelgible for claim number... in the Fair Fund Distribution in Sec v Bank of America.

I did have elgible shares in my Roth IRA account through Wells Fargo. The acct number was W....lI had two shares. Wells Fargo may be contacted at 1 866-849-5758. I authorize Rust Consulting to verify this information.

The check may be mailed to

I may be contacted at

Yours Truly,

p.s. the error may be because my last name is spelled incorrectly on the letter

Friday, June 24, 2011

Letter to Meyenberg Goat Milk Distributors

"To Whom It May Concern:
I recently saw goat milk in my local supermarket. The thing about this market is it is not like the standard Ralph's Krogers or Safeways in the World.

It is a market that caters to low income people. When I saw goat milk was offered, I thought, "what a treat".

Goat Milk has surpassed my expectations. I am a big fan of goat cheese. I am a fun of goats. What wonderful creatures.

Anyways, I am headed to a wedding in Northern California and Burningman also in the next four months. If it's possible, I would like to schedule a field trip to maybe meet a few goats.

It would be me and my girflriend driving up. We have been together for four years. What better place for a getaway.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Letter to California Milk Advisory Board

To Whom it May Concern
I saw a very interesting billboard off the freeway the other day. It stated that 99% of the California Dairy farms were family owned. I am very interested in the 1% of the dairy farms that aren't family owned.

Are these the types of places that try to cram every orifice of the farm to maximize profits? Or are these legitimate companies practicing mindful practices? Can I take my child there?

I understand this may be a tough question, but I am very interested in finding more information out and paying these farms a visit.

Yours Sincerely,"

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Letter to Dodger People

"It is with much delight that I send these receipts for the 76 ticket promototion. One of them is a reprint, however I do have credit card receipts to prove I purchased fuel at 10 gallon fillups.

It;s been many years since I've been to a Dodger Game because I lived in San Diego for a while.

Enclosed you will find a self addressed stamped enevelope (I know times have been tough)

I umpire baseball so any additional tickets if available, I would be happy to distribute to coaches to give to their players. But am also happy to take my girlfriend to a game. Times have been rough with us, so a data at Dodgers stadium would be absolutely lovely.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Letter to Baseball Coach

I did not receive a game fee on the field so I sent a letter to the coach at the school.


It was a pleasure to work for your team today. As per our agreement to have a check mailed to me from the school, enclosed is a self addressed stamped envelope. I imagine this is the only check being sent, however would be happy to fill out a tax form if necessary.


Monday, June 20, 2011

Letter to Christopher Gray Casting

Dear. Mr. Gray,

I would like to share with you my experience in earning an 87$ check for my work as an extra on the production of "Luck".

First, I had to sort out which casting company was filming at the racetrack in my hometown. I then signed up for more information on your site. A few months later, I received an email informing me I could create an appointment to register. I made an appointment for the following Monday and showed up at the time of my appointment to register. To my dismay, there was nobody in the office. I called and left a message and it was returned a few hours later. It was implied that the lady on the phone would waive the $25 fee to register. I said I could not make it, but promisted to return to register the following day. The next day I returned, however, along the way received a ticket for not having a hands free device for my cell phone. In a perfect world, I would have been able to register the day previously and had not had to run around. When I had registered, Dave helped me by getting me in the system. Though, in my opinion I dont think Dave was authorized to waive my fee. I did mention what had happened with my appointment. I have been studying qualitative sociological methods in school and from an analysis of Dave's speech, my inference was "Luck" was the only thing currently being cast by your office. For the next few weeks, I called with availability, however gbot busy with graduate school, umpiring baseball, and substitute teaching.

On may 26th, 2011, I was on my way out to do a planned errand with my mom, when I received a call at a little after 8 in the morning. It was a rush call, so I rushed into my 1969 Camaro and drove to the racetrack. Imagine my excitement thinking my goal as an actor to earn a union voucher had been met. I had rushed to set within 30 minutes of the call and had cleared wardrobe and found a production assistant at 845 am. For this rush call, the extra consideration was 6$ of time, yet in the back of my mind was Dave resassuring me how the relationship between people and the casting agency was different at Christopher Gray Casting.

The point of this letter is to inform you that for the trouble, I went through with registering, getting a ticket, and the rush call, I don't feel adequately whole. Therefore, I am asking for your attentive consideration in making me whole and continuing a steadfast and loyal agency.

I would like to earn a union voucher. I've taken acting classes, performed in theatre, and confuct myself with the utmost professionalism.

Thanx for your time. I hope we can continue a positive working relationship.

Respectfully Yours,

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Letter to Director of Financial Aid Office at my local University asking for 6,000


In 2010 I was very grateful to be awarded a State University Grant. I worked a total of 7 jobs so I could go to school, and pay living expenses. These experiences were helpful as they have given me a good schema to work with in understanding the world. None of these are fancy nor do they pay a lot. I worked as a substitute teacher, baseball umpire, enumerator for the United States Census Bureau, baseball codifier for Stats LLC, Background actor, tile installer, and real estate property manager).

All this "income" from different sources meant that my expected family contribution was 263.00. Or in other terms, I made 9,422.00 which is 42% of the poverty threshold. Yet with all this work I performed, I was able to maintain a 3.97 grade point average on the year while participating in clubs and student theatre performances. However, None of my jobs define me, like none of Martin Luther King's, or Gandhi's jobs define them. Similarly Rosa Parks and Jesus Christ had great contributions to American society, but their jobs didn't define them. The point is these people are defined by their strong wills and actions they did to better human society.

Last year If I would have have just not worked and had an expected family contribution of zero, I would have been elgible for financial aid. I think this sets a poor precedence and encourages people to set their limits to be sycophants of the state.

As a person with background in sociology, I am interested in finding out the actual numbers behind the state University Grants. I imagine this is public information, but had no idea where to file a records request. The front line staff in the center for financial aid, do not have the answers to this question.

I have five questions to which your responses to any of them will be truly valued:

1. How much money was there to be awarded for the 2011-2012 school year?

2.How many students had expected family contributions of "0".

3. Why is not possible for another student to transfer unused aid to me. For instance, my girlfriend was awarded a State University Grant, but does not need it for one quarter because she is set to be done with her classes early.

4. If funds do become available for whatever reason, would you please consider making a special action to retain me as a student here at ____ for outstanding contributions to the student community?

5. If granted a state University grant this year, I am willing to create a 25,000.00 scholarship for aspiring creative intelligent students that don't fit standard molds; but the Cal State Los Angeles community would benefit greatly from retaining them. How would I go about doing so?

Yours Sincerely,

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Letter to Health and Human Services

"To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to know more information about the National Children's Study.

I would either like to be a person conducting interviews (I worked with the census bureau), or I would like to offer my input my input as a participant.

I am a sociology graduate student at a Southern California University".

Yours Truly,

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Letter to Nestle Waters

"To Whom It May Concern:

I've noticed on packages of Arrowhead Mountain Spring Water that there is pronounced statements about reducing plastic. Yet to me it appearss as if package sizes are decreasing and that these smaller packages are encouraging users to consume more.

For example in 2005 (ish) the clear Arrowhead plastic bottle that held one gallon was reduced to hold less than 1 gallon. Now in 2011 it appears as if the original one gallon container begot the current 3 liter container. Furthermore it appears as if the current 3 liter containers uses up more plastic because it needs to because of a large conical invert.

In my opinion this invert is suspicious. In a way it tricks users and longtime consumers that they are getting the same product, yet this slight difference has ramifications for not only the planet but for shareholders.

I would like to know more information about this product (3L bottles). Specifically the different sizes this style of container has been. Also, I would like to see if reserach is done to produce optimal sized containers for Arrowhead Mountain Spring Water Containers.

Yours Truly"

*Note-Arrowhead is a brand of Nestle Waters which is actually based in Connecticut.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Letter to Zoological Society of San Diego

"To Whom it May Concern

This is the second time I've asked to be removed from the mailing list. I am not longer a member or a citizen of San Diego County.

As much as I love animals, I simply cannot afford to give money to them via this foundation. How is it I work multiple jobs and can barely stay afloat. I live over 100 miles away!

Each letter that is sent is one more tree that is processed and more piece of paper I need to recyle. I don't even open these letters anymore. This organization does not need to send them to me anymore.

We are broken up. "No means "No!"

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Letter to Mt. Olive Pickle Company

"To Whom It May Concern
I would like to express my enjoyment of pickles. Often when I go to the market I try to purchase pickles that have the least amount of ingredients. Most of these are from Bulgaria or Israel. Sometimes I buy Mt. Olive Pickles. My burning question is how come polysorbate 80 and yellow 5 are used as ingredients. In my understanding yellow 5 is not a necessary component. Does this affect taste? Does this affect purchasing preferences?

Thank you for your time"

Monday, January 31, 2011

California State Prison (Corrections System)

It sickens me how much the state of California spends on it's prison population rather than it's student population. I believe the state is run by dyslexics. When someone gets out of college they are saddled with enormous amounts of debt, yet when someone gets out of prison, they got to live free for a while with perks. Benjamin Franklin said once said, those that will trade "liberty for security deserve neither" . ' He clearly wasn't around during the post-post modern period. I mean, if someone ever desperately needs health care, they should strongly consider imprisonable misdemeanors.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

paper or ___________

I was thinking about the usage of paper as a medium to display information that is current, however so much of it is to waste. Think of the newspapers with the shitty advertisements that last a week. For instance, a tree died, costing the world vital oxygen so much I could save 10 cents on a can of tuna (thats probably not dolphin safe) during the week of October 7-13 at Walgreens pharmacy.

It seems as if information for the now should be disemminated and dismantled on the internet, and that which should be written in stone should be written on paper.

Maybe I've been watching too much of the Office.